Food in Times of Sadness

These past days and weeks have been a difficult time for a lot of people I care about. I normally keep the blog pretty upbeat, but this has been a sad week, so it seems fitting that the posting take on a similar mood.

About a month ago, my friends Mike and Janel Holth lost their father/father-in-law, respectively. Dave was an extremely intelligent man with a fantastic sense of humor and he adored his wife Jan and three kids, Mike, Dan and Beth. This past Saturday, my aunt Maria lost her father and my cousins Eric and Marc lost their grandfather. It was easy for anyone to see how much Grandpa Joe loved his two beautiful daughters and his five grandchildren. And on Sunday, Marc Weisenburger bid farewell to his wife and TJ, Kara and Adam said goodbye to their mother. Carolyn was a vivacious, vibrant woman and she will be deeply missed by all who knew her. All three individuals fought a courageous and commendable battle against the demon that is Cancer.
And on Tuesday, my friend Mary lost her Grandpa Billings. He kissed his wife and went to lay down for a nap, passing away peacefully in his sleep.

I can't even begin to say how much my heart is aching for you, my dear friends and family, who are mourning the loss of someone so close to you.
I am so sorry you are hurting.

This week has got me thinking about the role that food plays in times of sadness and sorrow. During these times, we turn to food for comfort and to assist in the expression of our sympathy. After funerals, we often gather to eat. The meal brings us together, helps us relax, provides a sense of normalcy and encourages conversation. We can sit ham sandwich in hand and share memories, telling stories of the person we have lost. Many times following a death, food is brought to the family, their refrigerator gradually filling with stacks of Tupperware and Pyrex. Casseroles and cookies are a tangible way to show how much we care, when there are not enough words to articulate the depth of our concern.

“Rest assured that in her dying, in her flight through darkness toward a new light, she held you in her arms and carried your closeness with her. And when she arrived at God, your image was imprinted on her joy-filled soul.”
-- Molly Fumia